To satisfy those of you who want to know more about us here at The Seventh Tower,
I've begun to compile a little family album that will clear up many mysteries about our
illustrious ancestory.

Here I am in the basement laboratory, preparing my latest chemical invention:
Formaldebrite--a remarkable substance that can be used both as tooth-paste
or embalming fluid, depending on your mood.

Here's a shot of my old uncle Roderick, who was never the same after being gassed
in WWI. In 1956 he finally snapped, and took an axe to Aunt Tilly. He spent the rest
of his life in an institution, but the family was occassionally permitted to take him
on picnics and children's parties. Here is is with us on a happy day at the beach in
Atlantic City, obviously enjoying himself. He was perfectly harmless, providing we
kept the steak knives locked up.

My uncle Freddie was somewhat of a loner. He never married and supported
himself primarily be becoming a paid experimental subject at my uncle Ludwig's
medical clinic. His one attempt at earning an honest living as a door to door salesman
failed for some reason, so he returned to his brother's estate and contentedly pursued
his favorite hobby of attack training the family Dobermans. I especially treasure this photo,
for it depicts one of the few times Uncle Freddie ever really smiled.

Uncle Ludwig became a famous gynocologist who worked in Germany for a time,
experimenting with radioactive birth control methods. Not well received by the
medical establishment after the war, Ludwig became especially bitter when his radium
coated birth control pill became banned by the government. He finally turned his attention to
small rodents, and invented many of the pesticides now known to cause birth defects
in humans.

This is my grandfather Septimus, a biochemist renowned throughout
Europe for his experiments on school chlidren. As headmaster of a remote
English boarding school, he was in a unique position to conduct
uninterrupted research, but was eventually let go by the Board of Directors
when they grew alarmed about increasing absenteeism among the
student body.

For photo credits, click here

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